Everyone at work is talking about THE FIGHT OF THE CENTURY. Actually, it's all everyone talks about in the office so here's my take on this saga.
Round 1 - The Cars:
Mayweather and Pacquiao are both minted athletes,which means they can afford ridiculously expensive cars. We're talking Lambos,Ferraris and Porsches.
Floyd 'Money' Mayweather comes out marginally on top as the proud owner of a $US1.9 million Bugatti Veyron Grand Sport, one of the fastest cars in existence. Jealous?
Mayweather: 1;Pacquiao; 0.
Round 2 - The Style:
Both Pacquiao and Mayweather prove the adage that money can't buy taste – at least when it comes to clothing. Subsequently, this category is less about who wins, and more about who loses.
Floyd loses slightly less on account of at least having the balls to don a black and gold onesie, complete with hood, just for the sheer ridiculousness of it all.
Mayweather: 2; Pacquiao; 0.
Round 3 - The Posse:
Mayweather cites Justin Bieber as his main man. Pacquiao wins by default.
Mayweather: 2; Pacquiao; 1.
Round 4 - The Slang:
Floyd tried to give himself the nickname Mr My Life is the Sh*t, which as a self-assigned nickname, is quite shit.
Pac Man on the other hand has a soft spot for slang words that have fallen into disuse, as when he tweeted "@FloydMayweather, don't be a boxing humbug. Let's give the fans what they want". Not exactly down with the times with 'humbug', but sweet nonetheless.
Mayweather: 2; Pacquiao; 2.
Round 5- The Do:
I'm into Floyd's cue-ball look (very aerodynamic in the ring), and think his goatee upkeep is respectable. Pacquiao's 'do', on the other hand, looks like it hasn't changed since he was a kid. This round goes to Mayweather.Mayweather: 3; Pacquiao; 2.
Round 6- The Nickname:
Pac Man versus Money.
One is a play on words and a callback to one of the greatest video games of all time. The other is a testament to vanity.
Undoubtedly, Manny takes this round.
Mayweather: 3; Pacquiao; 3.
Round 7 - The Fear Factor:
The bottom line, however, is that Floyd has never lost as a professional boxer. And has never been knocked out. That is a fearsome prospect for any opponent, even one as good as Pacquiao.
On the other hand, Manny Pacquiao has never ducked a fight… ever. So clearly Manny fears no man. Not even the best fighter on the planet. But the best indication of Pacquiao's courage is his insistence to sing (read: we all know he should stick to boxing) on live television. Seriously, you gotta be brave to go out there and sing ballads with Jimmy Kimmel without flinching. Hands down, Manny wins this round.
Mayweather: 3; Pacquiao; 4.
Round 8 - The Cute Factor:
Manny's cute dimpled smile is no match for Floyd's smouldering eyes and overall sexiness. I'll have to give Mayweather this round.
Mayweather: 4; Pacquiao; 4.
Round 9 - Who's less of a dick?
This requires some analysis.
On the one hand, PacMan has said he's against gay marriage on the basis that marriage ought to be between a man and a woman. Mayweather on the other hand has proclaimed, “I stand behind President Obama and support gay marriage.”
But although Mayweather is more socially progressive, he beats women - and fairly regularly apparently.
This brings us to the knockout punch. Being a dick is one thing, and Floyd seems to have that mastered to a level Kanye West would envy. A pattern of abuse against women is another.
Pacquiao wins this round with a TKO.
Round 1 - The Cars:
Mayweather and Pacquiao are both minted athletes,which means they can afford ridiculously expensive cars. We're talking Lambos,Ferraris and Porsches.
Floyd 'Money' Mayweather comes out marginally on top as the proud owner of a $US1.9 million Bugatti Veyron Grand Sport, one of the fastest cars in existence. Jealous?
Mayweather: 1;Pacquiao; 0.
Round 2 - The Style:
Both Pacquiao and Mayweather prove the adage that money can't buy taste – at least when it comes to clothing. Subsequently, this category is less about who wins, and more about who loses.
Floyd loses slightly less on account of at least having the balls to don a black and gold onesie, complete with hood, just for the sheer ridiculousness of it all.
Mayweather: 2; Pacquiao; 0.
Round 3 - The Posse:
Mayweather cites Justin Bieber as his main man. Pacquiao wins by default.
Mayweather: 2; Pacquiao; 1.
Round 4 - The Slang:
Floyd tried to give himself the nickname Mr My Life is the Sh*t, which as a self-assigned nickname, is quite shit.
Pac Man on the other hand has a soft spot for slang words that have fallen into disuse, as when he tweeted "@FloydMayweather, don't be a boxing humbug. Let's give the fans what they want". Not exactly down with the times with 'humbug', but sweet nonetheless.
Mayweather: 2; Pacquiao; 2.
Round 5- The Do:
I'm into Floyd's cue-ball look (very aerodynamic in the ring), and think his goatee upkeep is respectable. Pacquiao's 'do', on the other hand, looks like it hasn't changed since he was a kid. This round goes to Mayweather.Mayweather: 3; Pacquiao; 2.
Round 6- The Nickname:
Pac Man versus Money.
One is a play on words and a callback to one of the greatest video games of all time. The other is a testament to vanity.
Undoubtedly, Manny takes this round.
Mayweather: 3; Pacquiao; 3.
Round 7 - The Fear Factor:
The bottom line, however, is that Floyd has never lost as a professional boxer. And has never been knocked out. That is a fearsome prospect for any opponent, even one as good as Pacquiao.
On the other hand, Manny Pacquiao has never ducked a fight… ever. So clearly Manny fears no man. Not even the best fighter on the planet. But the best indication of Pacquiao's courage is his insistence to sing (read: we all know he should stick to boxing) on live television. Seriously, you gotta be brave to go out there and sing ballads with Jimmy Kimmel without flinching. Hands down, Manny wins this round.
Mayweather: 3; Pacquiao; 4.
Round 8 - The Cute Factor:
Manny's cute dimpled smile is no match for Floyd's smouldering eyes and overall sexiness. I'll have to give Mayweather this round.
Mayweather: 4; Pacquiao; 4.
Round 9 - Who's less of a dick?
This requires some analysis. On the one hand, PacMan has said he's against gay marriage on the basis that marriage ought to be between a man and a woman. Mayweather on the other hand has proclaimed, “I stand behind President Obama and support gay marriage.”
But although Mayweather is more socially progressive, he beats women - and fairly regularly apparently.
This brings us to the knockout punch. Being a dick is one thing, and Floyd seems to have that mastered to a level Kanye West would envy. A pattern of abuse against women is another.
Pacquiao wins this round with a TKO.
