LOVE IS STUPID

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘I love you but I can't be with you anymore’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love

LOVE IS STUPID

Is LOVE Ever Enough?

I was watching a Spanish movie on SBS the other night. It was about this girl who broke up with her boyfriend because even though they love each other, they were just two different people heading in two different places. She's an art graduate looking to travel and make art; he's still in school to become a doctor and wants to stay in the same small town forever. They both love each other, but she came to realize that their relationship would not survive simply on love alone. They were going in different places in their lives. There was still love there, but little compatibility.

I know that there are times when we have to cut off people from our lives because they are toxic and the relationships are terrible and ruining us. I was forced to do this with my family. I came to realize that I could not and would not stand for the mental and physical abuse coming from my mother and had to end that relationship. While it was hard to do, I know it was the right thing and it has brought a lot of good things into my life.

But at what point do we decide this with a significant other? At what point do we decide that a relationship will not survive simply because two people love each other? How many times are we going to put up with the same mistakes over and over and over and over again before we stand up and say ENOUGH.

Is it really love that keeps two people together or is it the fear of being alone? Is it the comfort of what you currently have versus the uncertainty of the future? Is it the fear of change that keeps us in these relationships? Is love what really holds these couples together or is it something else? Something weaker?

How do we know when a relationship will not survive solely on the love two people have for each other? At what point do the same mistakes make it obvious that a relationship is doomed?

Do You Stay When You Should Leave?

I'm willing to bet that most women have been in this type of situation at some point in their life.  The scenario of knowing you no longer belong in a relationship with that person, yet not being able to make the decision to leave.  I will admit, it's happened to me several times.  I've known many women who have experienced this as well.  The reasons are many: been together too long, staying for the children, not financially stable enough to leave, don't want to be alone, change is scary, too much effort to move out, can't face actually telling him, it will upset the whole family, what will your friends think... and the list goes on.  The unfortunate thing is, once you know that you don't belong in it, you can't fool yourself deep down inside.  You end up caving yourself in because YOU KNOW that it's no longer right.  All those reasons are just excuses not to face the situation and move on.  There is always a solution to the problem, you just have to be willing to do it!  Your integrity to yourself is more important than anything else BECAUSE as long as you don't think it's right, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks (they don't have to live in your head!)  You're the one that has to deal with the thoughts and feelings every day that you know you need to make a decision and make a move.  Until you do that, your life will remain in limbo and that's enough to drive anyone nuts!  Plus it affects every area of your life and puts a big huge stop to your goals because you are up and down and all over the place in your mind.  That means harder to focus, more emotional, uncertain, etc.  That's why you need to push yourself, to make the right decision for yourself, which contributes to the best YOU, which contributes to improved areas in your life, which leads you to achieving your goals and becoming happier than you were before!